Funny Jokes

On the subject of funny stuff like funny pictures I've found more random stuff like funny jokes heres a good one:

One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the officer stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content.
The results showed a reading of 0.0.
The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight I`m the designated decoy."

A drunk man stumbled into a church where there were baptisms being performed. The priest noticed him and asked him if he wanted to find Jesus.

"Sure," said the drunk man.
"I'll find Jesus."
So the priest took the drunk man's head and dunked it into the baptismal waters. When he came up for air, he was sputtering and couging.

"Damn," said the drunk man.
"Are you sure he fell in there?

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at Her and says that he doesn`t serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes Her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn`t serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes Her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell Her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To Her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn`t serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at Her disgustedly and says,"That`s not a TV -- it`s a microwave!"


Lots more at this excellent site
http://www.afunnystuff.com/jokes